Martha Kamara
Blogging, Research, Policy, and Practice
Blogging
Revised excerpt from The Re-education of a 27 year old Black woman: A lesson in (re)discovering myself and becoming over and over and over again
Admittedly, this situation broke me. I was on the other side of the world collapsing in on myself. For two years, I worked tirelessly in a position that brutally rejected me in the end. It made me question why I spent over 6 years hustling getting my degrees and work experience…if I couldn’t manage to get an interview for the team I was in Bali with.
It was uncanny being on an international work trip with coworkers I knew but didn’t trust. Who knew I received an automated rejection? Were people talking about it? About me. It was unsettling being told my “background, skills, and talents don’t match”, “certain skills and talents work better on different teams”, and “it’s a pleasure to be here so do you want to go home or stay?”. Most invalidating being “I know it feels like you were slighted but they weren’t trying to, they were going to talk to you” like I was not kept in the dark for 3 weeks before receiving an automated rejection on an international work trip on my 25th birthday…
In hindsight, that environment had always been toxic for me. Other than not investing in me, the gossiping and anxiety-inducing tension was palpable. It did not help that I was operating from the narrative that if I worked hard enough someone in a position of power would notice me, take me under their wing, and open doors for me. It was not an incorrect observation (I witnessed it happen twice) but it was not correct for me. I was burning myself out, not positioning myself for success.
…I had to confront that (1) I was forcing something that was never going to work and (2) I allowed myself to suffer for the sake of ambition. I have a lot of empathy for this version of me…It was hard to accept that success is not scarce nor is it guarded by powerful people in suits. Success does not look one way and it will look different from others.
Fall out of 25th year
Today makes it two years to the day since that work trip. I am ready to tell my story and make peace with it. I no longer view that situation as the climax of my story but rather a catalyst to (re)discover myself. It broke me open, gave me clarity that I have nothing to prove to anyone or anything.
I didn’t feel like it at the time, but I was tough and developed a thick skin. Underneath my “strong Black woman” exterior, I was scared, humiliated, and stressed out. I just wanted my humanity validated. With time and space, I have come to accept four things: (1) if you’re unaligned, things won’t work out regardless of how hard you try (2) the stress of staying where you’re not wanted is damaging to your health and wellbeing (3) deeply know that you are worthy of kindness (4) inaction and contradictions speak louder than pleasantries.
The miseducation of my worth evolved into a re-education of how to meet myself over and over and over again…Everyday I learn the importance of being valued and invested into, starting with how I treat myself.
Present Moment
It has been difficult reconciling my ambition with the implications of that experience. It affected how I showed up, interviewed, and treated myself. I did not like who I had become, nothing felt right. I knew I needed to change for the better and not for the bitter. I had lost myself…and needed a break and some TLC. So I took it…
So who am I? A success. No matter where I am, how my bank account is looking, or who I’m with. I am a success. A success who comes back to herself as many times as she needs to. Who becomes Her over and over and over again.
Things didn’t go as planned, but I did what I said I would do. I moved to the city I wanted to, got the degrees, worked in my field, and rediscovered that I love to dance, collage, and party. I might have failed in some ways but I also succeeded. A lot.
26 looked like momentum on my own terms. I am still an ambitious go-getter but I don’t rush or force. Alignment is my North Star, no longer unadulterated ambition.
27 years old…
It is a pleasure to meet this version of me. I don’t know Her yet but I [think] I like Her. I love that I feel rich and successful before seeing it…Life is meant to be enjoyed not orchestrated.
Here’s to letting spring come.
Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be (what? Uh, uh)
After winter, must come spring (must come spring)
Change, it comes eventually
– Lauryn Hill, Everything is Everything (1998)
Research
- Published peer-reviewed article “Placing knowledge equity at the heart of the UN Ocean Decade: an Early Career Researcher perspective” https://doi.org/10.3389/focsu.2025.1551167
- Finalizing scientific manuscript for peer-reviewed publication: Advancing Equitable Ocean Multi-Use Systems: Comparative Policy Analysis from Norway and the United States
- Contributed to the Status of Power System Transformation: Leading Topics of 2024 https://docs.nlr.gov/docs/fy24osti/91357.pdf
Policy
- Author and collaborator on Implementing Inclusivity Framework: Recommendations from the CEM Equality in Energy Transitions Initiative & MI’s Inclusivity Catalyst
- Coordinated and contributed to the international Clean Energy Ministerial-Mission Innovation Agenda for Action on Power Systems Solutions
- Coordinated and contributed to the U.S. (DOE) Action Plan for Rapid Power Sector Decarbonization
- Facilitated for the International Energy Agency’s Developing a Global Energy Efficiency Workforce in the Buildings Sector report (named in acknowledgements on page 4)
- Coordinated and contributed to of the “ISGAN and 21CPP MOU regarding “Cooperation on Innovative Power System Transformation Solutions”
- Coordinated and facilitated the Clean Energy Economy and Workforce Preparation Toolkit and workshop series within the Integrated Policymaking and Empowering Communications for the Clean Energy Economy and Workforce (IPEC) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KI1hmOI8gwLzAB5R5LciJsSIQ1SXxREt/view
Practice
- Wrote video script for senior official intervention for Julie Cerqueira (Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of International Affairs, U.S. Department of Energy) for the 21CPP Action Plans for Rapid Power Sector Decarbonization video
- Co-developed the 2024 Equality in Energy Transitions Initiative Newsletter https://www.equality-energytransitions.org/category/newsletter/
- Wrote U.S. government blog posts: Insight into the 13th Executive Committee’s 2024 Strategy (archived) & On the Road to Foz do Igacuz Powering Progress towards Global Clean Energy Security
